Chapter 4 - What a Day for a Daydream

"What do you think to St Andrews University Mormon and Christian Union?" asked Henry.
Campbell looked up from the Mickey Mouse he was drawing on a big piece of card on his bedroom floor. Mickey's head was going to remind him of the theory of Quantum Nervousness Molecular Reliance structures ready for his exam. "What?"
"St Andrews University Morman and Christian Union?"
"Mormon? But we're not a Mormon society."
"Well, no, but I thought we could be?"
Campbell just stared at his friend, dumbfounded. This was the sort of rubbish he expected Matt to come out with, but Henry? "Why?" he asked.
"Well, I want to incorporate the McDonald's "M" into the CU logo, but there isn't an M in SAUCU, so I thought I'd put one in."
"Right." Campbell thought for a second, tightened his lips and shook his head, before going back to Mickey, calming the moment of horror he felt inside as he realised the mouse's tunic wasn't quite the scarlet he'd been aiming for.
There was silence for a minute as Henry sat thinking, staring at his Mac. Well, there would have been silence if Zoe hadn't been sat on the bed strumming away and singing wild praises to God. But she was always there and the house had become so used to her singing that it had faded into the background, so it felt like silence.
"How about St Andrews University Christian Union Men?" Henry eventually asked.
"Well, Warwick might like it," said Campbell.
Elaine, who was sat on the floor playing Scrabble with Lindsay, went red at the mention of Warwick's name. Ever since she'd been discovered trying to get into the boy's breakfast by wearing a rugby shirt and a false beard she'd been too embarressed to go near him. To be fair, the young Northern Irish lass had almost gotten away with it, if only she hadn't burped after eating one too many sausages. The drain-like gurgle had been too distinctive for Henry, who had been sat beside her thinking she looked vaguely recognisable, to not realise her true identity, shouting out her name in horror.
"Have you spoken to Wiw about the name change?" asked Lindsay.
"Erm, no, but I figured he'd be sweet about it," replied Henry. "I think I'll just go ahead and change it."
"I guess UCCF won't mind," Campbell said, "they never did like women anyway."
"I think Alice might have something so say, though," Lindsay muttered.
Ah, Alice. Henry's eyes glazed over and suddenly he was on West Sands, the folds of his nappy flutterring in the breeze, and there, in the distance, was Alice, looking as ravishing as ever, running towards him, arms open wide. Henry too took off towards her, he could hear himself calling her name in a dreamy fashion. Not very manly, he chastised himself silently in his daydream, but that didn't matter. She took him in an emotional embrace, her clothes warming his naked skin, and grey and white seagulls, each wearing a little pink bowtie, landed all around them in the shape of a heart and began singing sweet love songs. But then, without warning, the dream turned sour and the birds began singing the Neighbours theme tune. He saw his own face flicker and disappear to be replaced within a split-second by that of Karl Kennedy, his mouth formed into a jeering snigger as it glanced toward's the spot from which Henry was watching before moving in for the kill.
Henry was brought back to his senses. He was still in Campbell's bedroom, Zoe was still singing, her arms raised in praise while she somehow continued to play the guitar, Lindsay and Elaine were arguing over a word that someone had spelt out on the board and Jim had appeared from nowhere and was considering woolly jumpers on sweatershoponline.com using Campbell's laptop.
Cold sweat dripped from Henry's brow and landed on his chest. It was a dream, just a dream. Just to be sure, he checked Alice's facebook, but there was nothing to suggest she'd entered a relationship with the Australian doctor. He glanced around the room to be sure no one had noticed his change in behaviour, but everything appeared normal. Well, as normal as it could ever be in 123.
There was a knock on the door and everyone looked up to see Matt's disappointed face poke around the edge, mutter something about there always being a party in there and tell them that him and Holly were going to a wedding fayre before the door shut again.
Henry, remembering what he'd been told about not letting daydreams get the better of him, banished the image of Alice in a bridal toga from his mind and clicked the button that added the McDonalds "M" to the end of SAUCU. He was going to go down in publicity history.